Joy or Sorrow

October 7, 2009

Joy is an instant motivator.

Sorrow saps ambition from my bloodstream.

Joy gives me wings whereas the weight of sorrow renders the same wings powerless. Joy feeds my soul and gives my body energy and determination to carry on regardless of my physical needs at the time.

Sorrow is a thief stealing away perfect health and vitality at its first appearance.

Which is greater? Joy is greater! It gives of itself and renders fruitfulness. It is a benefactor of greatness from the very smallest of things: a smile, a twinkle in the eye, a warm hug….

Sorrow is the least of things, but a fearsome terrorist, a black hole. It is the densest void and worthless on its own, never giving anything back, but steals and destroys everything to including health, wealth, creativity, sanity and the very will to live.

I choose joy.

“…Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” -Nehemiah 8:10

EcstacyOfJoy

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Affection

September 24, 2009

During the night, I reach out for You. You draw me into the warmth of Your bosom. I lay my head upon Your chest. You embrace me and quiet the drumming that plagues my tired mind.

Silence, at last.

Your steady heartbeat becomes audible. Your peaceful-self assurance is relaxing yet invigorating. To think, all existence is held firmly in Your control, yet You take time for this intimate moment. You inspire me, my Love. I feel the strength and confidence that is You. Stars twinkle throughout the galaxy in response to Your smile. You kiss my brow with moonlight.

Our hearts beat in unison, its rhythm soothes my restlessness. A blissful surge of peace drives out every debilitating inhibition and doubt. You breathe life into me, once again. I find the sweetest comfort in Your arms.

Your quiet whispers brush vivid strokes of healing over my weary body. Your voice holds the fresh softness of raindrops and depth of thunder. Your Word feeds my hunger for more of You and satisfies my craving for contentment. Each thought You share fills the vaccuum in my soul created by fear. Your consuming love saturates all of the emptiness I felt before knowing You. Your touch relaxes my senses and drives away the pain.

I am safe with You.

Your love is exclusive. Your jealousy tolerates no sharing of Your place in my heart. You shower me with Your ever perfect love, beauty, grace and eternal affection. Humbly, my God, I accept all that You are and reject anything that does not align with Your Word.

You are my Beloved and I am Yours, Jesus.

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Incomparable

September 15, 2009

You quiet my noisy mind with whispers of hope and peace. You promise a future – eternity with You. Your words are not empty. They are sure and proven, over and again. All power is in Your Word. Time and space are Yours. There is neither power nor thing not under Your command. The seas thunder and roll passionately, yet honor Your periphery. The sun remains in its place, burning fiercely and constantly… a reminder of Your faithful love. Nothing compares to Your love, my Lord. Nothing compares to Thee.

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Haiku: Promise

September 15, 2009

Creativity
You breathe on my life, Father
Your inspiration

Your divine favor
Your heart yields adoration
my life’s in Your hands

You hear my prayers
I feel Your Holy Spirit
brooding over me

Safe in Your solace
I am sheltered from life’s storms
Precious Beloved

You quiet my mind
with whispers of hope and peace
forever with You

Jesus

May I Have This Dance?

August 29, 2009

Today was especially challenging. I woke up lonely. Had it not been for the kids needing breakfast, perhaps I would have spent the day in bed. Not because I was tired, but because my heart was too heavy to get up. How does this happen? I have it all, so it would seem from the outside looking in. I’ve been tremendously blessed… indeed, but I’ve made tremendous misjudgements. As a result, the proverbial bar is raised to a very high standard. As such, sometimes life is a little lonely. It’s okay. Exclusive selection is a process and such a process often takes time.

Time. Precious time.

I peeled myself off the sheets and set about my course for the day, eventually arriving at a yard sale down the street on my way to the Farmer’s Market. There were odds and ends all across the property, large and small for treasure hunters abounding the neighborhood. As I approached the gate to enter the property, my eyes fell upon some framed art displayed along the iron fence. I stopped in stunned amazement. There propped amongst the framed pieces was a print of The Singing Butler by Jack Vettriano — my very favorite piece of modern art in all the world. The original painting is a back view of an elegant lady in a stunningly beautiful long, red dress and contrasting bare feet as she is waltzed on a sandy beach by an equally elegant gentleman dressed in tux and tails. They are being serenaded under cover of an open umbrella by a singing butler. Hence, the title of the piece, I would imagine.

Sight of it literally stopped me in my tracks. I stood there, gaping. This print served as a vivid reminder that I am in Daddy God’s arms. This is His dance. The serenade is that of His choosing. Its timing. Its tempo. Its duration. He has given His angels charge over me. He will not allow my foot to slip. The ocean waves can only come as far as He allows. Being the gentleman that He is, He asked me if He could have this dance. I accepted. I follow His lead.

I am quite confident that the artist did not have my metaphoric ideal in mind when his brush graced the canvas, ultimately gifting us with his beautiful masterpiece. However, art  being subjective and all, I adore the piece, holding precious the imagery it inspires in my heart every time I see it.

I bought the print.

One day, in Daddy God’s perfect timing, He is going to allow me to finally waltz with that beautiful man whom He has purposed for my life. Only He knows for sure when and if that will be. God is perfect, you know, and He will not be rushed. I trust that He knows what’s best for me. I know I am precious in His sight. He is so loving to remind me, in ways that only He can, that I am never alone.

I am my Beloved’s and He is mine.

Vettriano

No Fear

July 21, 2009

The most sincere words pour from my heart only to feel searing coals thrust upon my shoulders immediately following the release of them into the atmosphere. Apprehension scorches down my back from not knowing how my words will be received.

Oh, the pain. The pain of unknowing.

I am not responsible for how I am received. I am only responsible for the manner in which I give.

Yet, time has proven over and again that I am my own worst critic, as my words have often been the salve which brings healing to a broken heart, the evasive lyrics to a beautiful melody, the answer to a quandary gnawing at one’s heart and mind. My words, when spoken in kindness, have been the keys unlocking bolted prison doors freeing one from prison walls where others before me have captured and held hostage a loving heart for reasons beyond my knowledge and understanding.

Even so, often, I keep my words locked deep inside… deep down inside… for fear moves me to reconsider my inspiration and I remain paralyzed in the clutches of fear. Fear often moves me to keep my arms reservedly at my sides instead of hugging a soul who needs to feel their battered body and wounded heart wrapped in a compassionate embrace.

God give me the discernment I need from Your heart and mind to move me in the path You have set for me. Move me as You are moved by compassion for the love of Your creation. Help me to understand my fear when it is merely fear and not decorum or propriety but rather, my pride. Help me to know when it is fear that ridicules me as I am indeed good enough, smart enough, rich enough, clever enough and beautiful enough to move at Your Word.

I am Your Beloved and You are mine. I have nothing to fear.

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Soak

June 12, 2009

Sometimes it’s hard to be a self motivator.

This morning, I woke up, exercised, had my coffee and got ready for work. All was right with the world. Then came the waves of pain from life stuff.

The past is gone. Now is what counts.

In the shower this morning, as I stopped looking ahead to my day. I became present in that moment under the water’s flow, is it made its way through my hair and down my back. I felt the water wash over me. It was truly exhilarating. I thought, this is right. Enjoy now. Let your senses do what they were meant to do.

I feel life today.   Yesterday is gone. Over. Finito.

In spite of my intention to feel the day, my heart remained heavy. But then, I was encouraged by this passage of scripture:

Hebrews 10:22let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.   “…for he who promised is faithful.”

His water is alive. Cleanse me with your living water, Father. Let me drink of Your living water. Let me soak in Your living water. Let me feel You.   You are indeed faithful and true.   I am encouraged, by You.

Heartaflame

Late in the night, I could not find comfort. I tossed and turned, rest was no where to be found. Speak to me, Father. I need your words tonight.

He said,  

Psalm 42:8

Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.   “What is your song?” I asked. And, I slept pondering that question.

When I awoke and sought His face again, asking the same question, He breathed… 

Song of Solomon 3

 1By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
 2I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
 3The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?
 4It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.
 5I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
 6Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?
 7Behold his bed, which is Solomon’s; threescore valiant men are about it, of the valiant of Israel.
 8They all hold swords, being expert in war: every man hath his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night.
 9King Solomon made himself a chariot of the wood of Lebanon.
 10He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem.  11Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.

Paved with love… Father, my Beloved, whose love is like Your love?

John 13:1

 1Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.

Ephesians 5:2

And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

John 13:34

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

I love you, my precious Jesus. Your love is endless.  Your song shall be with me all the days of my life.

love piano keys

The Dance

February 14, 2009

The Singing Butler - Vettriano
As life’s dance begins
You offer Your hand
I take it

thesingingbutler1-2

In Your arms
I feel secure
Confident
Elegant
Beautiful

Waltzers II

You are perfect
Your grace is unmatched
Your lead is flawless

thesingingbutler2-1

You give Your angels
charge over me 

thesingingbutler3-1

You will not allow
my foot to slip

Order my steps, Beloved
by the power of Your blood
according to Your word
for Your name’s sake

I am Your bride

Dance Me to the End of Love Jack Vettriano

Dance me to the end of Your love

You are faithful
Your love is eternal
Your promise of forever is true

Rings